Outline & Focus
It’s sad to know that after all these years, I’ve only traveled a little more than one-hundredth of a light-year across the Milky Way, what a minuscule amount it is. Even after over 20 revolutions around the sun, seeing how small that number is, it just shows how tiny we are in the galaxy, just a speck of dust in the vast space of the universe.
Time is something relative made by humans to grasp our existence in this modern world. Being older doesn’t always mean knowing more, you could definitely be younger but understand certain things about life better than someone who just happens to be born a couple years earlier. I could say this because I’ve experienced it firsthand, hence I always try to keep an open mind and disregard any gossip when I’m about to meet someone or an acquaintance.
A couple of years ago I said something to (now) one my close friends, “I don’t really care what other people say about you and I don’t want to know either”, “If I want to know you better, I’ll just go to you directly, why would I need to go to other people to know more about you when I could just ask you directly.” might not be exactly this, but something along those lines.
For me, the best way to get to know someone is to just go and ask them directly what I’m curious about and what I want to know more from them. Why do I need to ask someone else when I could just go to the source directly. That’s what I felt back then and I’ve more or less forgot about it, except that’s what I thought.
As some of my friends knew, I’m quite forgetful when it comes to dealing with people. I could literally left a chat unread for a couple of days or weeks, and then come back to reply where we left off. I really don’t have any intentions of ghosting my friends and I do feel bad about this, but I truly can’t help it.
Apparently, this applies to my conversation IRL too. I would always only say what’s on my mind and I would convey them directly from my feelings at the time. So, if I my answer or view about something is different between then and now, it’s just simply because I forgot about it and my feelings have changed since then.
Earlier this month, I talked to my close friend and that topic was brought up again because we were discussing on how she was belittled and bad-mouthed behind her back. I absolutely have no respect for someone who only dares to talk about someone behind their back, I might understand if you’re afraid to criticize the person directly, but spreading misinformation? Those are absolute scumbags, truly the lowest of low.
Criticize to help them be a better version of themselves, rather than to only belittle
Of course, I tried to comfort her and went on an hour long rant on how we shouldn’t care the least of how or what people thinks about us. We’re talking about when someone is talking shit behind you. It’s a different story if someone comes up and say something to you directly, you should then listen and contemplate about what you did that make them say that.
You can never truly satisfy everyone around you, there will always someone that disagree or hate what you do, so you do you and don’t worry about what others think about you
All of us already have a lot to think about in our mind. The truth is, nobody really cares or pay attention to all and every little things you do, so you don’t need to fret over the little things that you did. Think about this, if you constantly think about what others see from you or feel that they’re judging you, doesn’t that apply to other people as well?
Don’t be a people pleaser, make yourself the highest priority of stuff you should care about the most. You’re the only person that would be by your side till the end, not even your partner would be able to be with you all the time till the end.
I’m telling all of this, as well as my Past beforehand, is because I’m genuinely glad that I’m able to keep my integrity after all these years. Even though I’ve mentioned previously that I forget most of the things I said, I’m happy that this is ingrained in my subconscious mind.
I’ve decided to drop most of my social media some time ago, I didn’t fully purge my account since it would disrupt the balance of my online analytics and presence. Lol no, I just kept it so people who needs it can still search for my account, and so that my past self is preserved as an online historical reminiscence for my future self and of course my offsprings.
Dropping social medias and other time-consuming apps have had a huge impact in my life. I might make a separate dedicated post for this, but I can quite confidently say that I’m happier and my mind is more relaxed than before. I got way more time for myself, family, and those friends around me I truly care about.
Because of that, I’ll probably drop some more of my online accounts, and probably never come back for good this time. So please don’t take offence if I don’t reply when you’ve sent me a message, I’ll make an effort to update the list frequently about my socials in my about section when I change, drop, or add something.
If you can’t think of anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all
This was something I learned some years ago, have kept in mind, and will continue to do so. A closing quote I would want more people to know about. It has helped me in a lot of ways and I hope it does change the way some of you think too.
The thing is, don’t worry too much about what other people think about you, just be you the way you want yourself to be. It’s not an excuse to be a jerk, as long as you’re enjoying yourself without disturbing other people, you do you.
If find yourself constantly judging someone for their clothing, interest, or hobbies, ask yourself “what does it matter to me”. Do you really need to always talk about other people?
When you stop caring about what others think and not care about the personal preference of other people, that’s when you’ll realize that the world and life in general isn’t so bad after all. You’ll be more composed, relaxed, and overall nicer as a person.
I’ve survived another year, another revolution around the sun. I don’t care about your wishes when it only comes once a year and this isn’t exclusive to just myself, but also to those around you. It would not only feel disingenuous, but it would also show how fake you are.
That aside, for those who’ve been with me throughout these years, whether you’re still with me, or has been with me and have moved on, I’m grateful for all the experience we share together. After all, you’ve quite literally been a part of my life, and have played a role in it.
Yes, I do remember and am referring to you, if any of you have reached this far, thank you for taking the time to read this, and thank you for playing a part in my life, I’m grateful for all the things we did and didn’t do, and also for all the experiences we had together.
- All my families and relatives
- You who I share my childhood with
- You who always shared your water bottle with me
- You who made me testify for you on your 17th birthday
- You who always kept me accompanied after school
- You who asked me to star on a short film with you
- You who still treats me as a friend no matter what happens
- You who have traveled kilometers just to play with me
- You who once shared your mind with me
- You who went out of your way to help me in table tennis
- You who relied on me and made me feel needed
- You who went through those hardships together with me
- You who helped me all these times until now
- You who used me cold-bloodedly and taught me things the hard way
- You who welcomed me with open arms and always helped me then
- You who taught me a lot about life and people
- You who stayed by my side when others would’ve left
*Note: list may not be in order and incomplete; you may refer to more than one person
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