Opting Out of the Algorithm

after reflecting on being An Outsider Inside Myself, i realized that antisocial isn’t the right word to describe what i was trying to express. also, i don’t dislike social interaction; humans are inherently social creatures. what i reject is the digital way we’re told to be social, the one mediated through platforms that prioritize engagement over connection.

antisocial describes behavior that is averse to others, often marked by actions that go against social norms — disruptive behavior such as vandalism, violence, theft, arson, or anything that harms or disregards the rights of others.

the term i was looking for is asocial — not hostility toward others, but a lack of motivation to engage socially. it captures how i feel about the digital way we’re told to be social.

throughout this piece, i’ll refer to ‘social media’ as ‘social networks’. the latter feels more accurate because it better describes the systems of connection — and disconnection — that these platforms foster, while the former implies a one-way broadcast model that doesn’t capture the full scope of their impact on our social lives.

motive

as an introvert, i prefer smaller circles and one-on-one conversations over large gatherings. i recharge through solitude and being alone with my thoughts. i’ve never quite “got the gist” of drawn-out exchanges in instant messaging apps, including the direct or private messages built into social networks. they function mostly as tools for quick confirmation, not as spaces for deep conversation.

this feeling is reinforced by my introversion, but it’s not the root cause. my asociality is not a general apathy toward people; rather a specific, principled lack of motivation to engage with these platforms. i’m not against people per se, just the algorithmic and superficial systems that now mediate our interactions.

empty

when i step back and look at today’s social networks, it feels like they pull me in under the guise of “getting inspired”. before long, i’m caught in a loop of mindless consumption, scrolling for hours without creating anything meaningful. especially now that platforms integrate AI to make feeds even more “personalized” and addictive, there’s no room left for serendipity. i should’ve left when they killed the chronological timeline; i just didn’t see it for what it was.

these algorithms are designed to maximize engagement and keep us hooked. there’s barely any time left to reflect or integrate what i’ve consumed into my own thoughts and creations. trying to use them without getting pulled in is a losing battle — willpower is a finite resource, and relying on it alone never works in the long run.

if this is what it does to me — someone supposedly in control — imagine what it’s doing to those who never knew life without it. the consequences reach far beyond distraction or creative fatigue; these networks are a major cause of the teenage mental illness epidemic — not merely a correlation. numerous studies now identify them as a significant contributing cause, showing clear evidence of how they are damaging young people’s mental wellbeing.

echo chambers

algorithmic curation makes us more likely to encounter content that already aligns with our beliefs and interests. we engage with what feels familiar, and in doing so, signal to the system to show us more of the same. this self-reinforcing loop creates echo chambers, where our exposure to diverse perspectives slowly fades.

these chambers can lead to polarization and dull our capacity for understanding. healthy discourse depends on facing what challenges us — to see and understand how others arrive at their beliefs and values, not just that they hold them.

the case against social networks on political grounds is especially strong. these platforms amplify misinformation and extremist views, weaponizing outrage to manipulate and divide communities. the result is a society less willing to listen, and more eager to see opponents as enemies that must be defeated, rather than as people to understand.

superficial

social networks promised connection but delivered exhaustion. they’ve become a poor substitute for real-life interaction. at times, i even feel parasocial toward friends and acquaintances online. both sides feel hollow — “updates” rarely feel personal and more like a broadcast to the general masses, while “viewing” becomes an endless stream that offers little room for genuine connection or deeper engagement.

some of the most meaningful interactions i’ve had were in person, where we could read each other’s tone, body language, and expression. these nuances vanish online, often leading to misunderstandings and an unnecessary shallowness. yet, we’re so accustomed to it that we hardly notice what we’re missing out on.

the best relationships i have are with people who share similar values and don’t take my online absence personally — friends who can pick up right where we left off, no matter how long it’s been. my circle may be smaller than average, but the quality of those relationships matters more to me than its size.

performative

social networks often encourage performative behavior by rewarding it more than authenticity. individuals curate idealized versions of themselves, creating a disconnect between their true selves and their projected personas. for the audience, this distorts their reality and plants unrealistic expectations of what an “average” life should look like.

it also drives constant comparison with others, which can easily foster negative emotions such as envy, dissatisfaction, feelings of inadequacy, and low self-esteem. people feel pressured to present themselves in ways that attract validation through meaningless numbers — likes, shares, followers, comments, and whatever other bullshit platforms invent to quantify approval.

in the end, it becomes a cycle of seeking external validation instead of cultivating self-worth. it erodes genuine self-expression and personal growth, as individuals become more concerned with how they are perceived than with who they truly are.

detachment

i’m not the first to remove these platforms from my life, nor the first to write about it. some say it doesn’t change much. i’d argue they haven’t truly detached, because i can hardly recall feeling fulfilled after spending any meaningful time on social networks.

i always end up drained and feeling empty after “just checking” my social apps for a few minutes. i only realize it’s midnight when i haven’t had a proper meal, haven’t done any meaningful work, and my brain is fried. i then spiral into revenge bedtime procrastination to make up for the lost time, wake up late the next day feeling groggy and unproductive, and the cycle repeats.

i still keep my accounts dormant, mostly so no one reuses my username. i simply don’t have the apps installed on any of my devices, and i might glance at them once every few months. other than that, i don’t miss them at all.

privilege

i’m aware it’s a privilege to step away. many depend on these platforms for their livelihoods, especially those whose work demands it. for people in such situations, it helps to draw a clear boundary — to separate personal and professional use, even if that means distinct accounts or devices.

what matters most is awareness. the first step is realizing that our attention is finite, and that we must choose what we consume instead of letting the algorithm decide. by sharing this, i hope to encourage reflection and spark a ripple outward — toward living with The Art of Less.

as mentioned in echo chambers, it’s difficult to reach those who aren’t already questioning their use. the algorithm rarely surfaces content like this to those who need it most. that’s why i think it’s important for the few who remain within these networks to use them with intention.

resolve

the root problem lies in the algorithms and the lack of freedom to choose both what we see and how it’s presented. i’ve been curating my own feed through RSS and by visiting websites directly — no algorithms, no distractions. this ties into privacy and security too, but that’s a topic for another day.

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.
— Rumi

i crave the simplicity and authenticity of a time when connection wasn’t a stream of performative feed. there was no pressure for constant updates or validation; meeting occasionally was enough, because those moments were meaningful. we lived our own lives, content with our own company and the company of those around us.

moving away from social networks is my way of reclaiming time and attention for more meaningful pursuits. i grew up in the era of pen pals and still cherish that slower, more intentional form of communication. my preferred contact method is now the plain and “boring” email, without the performative corporate speak or formatting — unless i’m writing to a corporation (?)

in the end, this is one of my reasons for building a small corner of the internet — a Digital Garden. as for everything else, well, Leave Me Alone.